Day 12: Restriction is never the solution

Day 12

(Trigger warning)

Restriction is an insidious process. It starts with something small. Or it starts with something big. The restriction is incorporated into your daily life. It's encouraged and praised by others. Then it is not enough and you restrict something else. Gradually, the restrictions increase and you're spiralling out of control. But you can't tell how tight the bindings are getting. You don't notice how you can't breathe. You just wonder why there is too much air to breathe and why you need so much of it. You get mad at yourself for being greedy, for wanting more air. You restrict something else. It cycles. It spirals.

Then one day, you realize that something is wrong and you reach out. You learn that you have been holding your breath. Slowly you learn it is ok to breathe. It is ok to want air. Until you relearned how to breathe, you couldn't understand that it was ok to breathe. Breathe. Breathe.

Inspired by Mary Lambert's "Body Love"