Paper: Happiness

Why happiness scares me

Happiness scares me in ways that unhappiness never did.

Today I woke up happy and went to work happy because I had a really good weekend. In the middle of the day I became disquieted. I realized I was afraid of how various areas of my life are coming together and how happy I am becoming. I did not understand when a friend recently told me that she is so happy, she is scared.  I have chased happiness for so long that I could not imagine being scared of it. Whenever happiness enters my life, I revel in it because I desire it so much. Today I understand how happiness can be so overwhelming as to be frightening.

Unhappiness feels endless. The well of self-loathing and despair never runs dry. At a certain point, negative emotions become comforting. They are dependable, stable, and self-maintaining. Unhappiness is an unwelcome house-guest. If it stays, fine; you learn how to live and work around it. If it leaves, that's even better; life improves.

Happiness, on the other hand, is fragile. When it leaves, life is less bright. Happiness feels limited, in quantity and in scope. It is easily taken away and requires constant maintenance. In the past year my happiness quotient has increased so much that it feels like a rapidly built house of cards. Somehow I will screw up and collapse the whole structure. However, dwelling on these thoughts serves no purpose other than becoming a self-fulfilling prophecy. While this may seem like a depressing post, it is is not. It is a simple reminder to embrace happiness whenever and in whatever form it comes in. Life is a cycle of ups and downs; both phases have their purposes.

Happiness is a bubble. It is delicate and fragile, but it brings beauty and delight. Enjoy happiness when it enters your life.
  
What has brought joy into your life this month?

Live and Defy the Lies

My 30 Days project had many reasons and many beginnings. I talked about the immediate inspiration on day 1. The reason I focused on posters is because I had experience designing posters for fun last year. At the time, I was completing my final accounting class for a professional certificate. Since I read the material before the lecture, I rarely paid attention in class. Instead, I doodled ideas on posters for supporting runners at races or giving out free sunscreen during Dyke March.  Since posters are disposable, making them did not stress me. Rather than trying to perfect every detail, I have fun with posters. Ideas were easy to generate and to execute.

A year later, I'm doodling and painting posters again for Dyke March. I had squeezed out too much paint and used it up on this poster. This question is from a discussion with a friend from a few months ago. Considering my mindset at the time, it is a fair assumption the topic involved existential crisis. At one point she asked me, "What lie are you telling yourself about yourself?"  I didn't understand her question at the time. I thought I always honestly assessed who I am and what I am capable of.

I am actively a positive person; I focus on the positive and present the positive side of everything. Life is too short to dwell on the negatives and I'm happier when I can see the joy in everything. However, sometimes one needs to understand the negative to move forward. In the past few months I realized that my lie is "I am not enough." I am not active enough, I am not thin enough, I am not social enough, I am not smart enough, I am not talented enough, I am not queer enough, I am not nice enough, I am not empathic enough, I am not caring enough, I am not engaging enough. Because I am not enough and I fail the standards in everything, I belong nowhere and no one enjoys my company.

Those were lies that had been internalized without my awareness. Now that I know what my lies are, I no longer believe in them. I share this with you so you can understand what I mean when I ask you:

What lie is society telling you? Live and defy it.

Day 32: Siesta

Day 32

Sleep deprivation is standard in our fast-paced and tightly scheduled society. A lack of sleep is exalted as proof of one's passion, ambition, and dedication. I, however, require eight hours of sleep to be fully functional. I loved vacationing in a country where afternoon naps are customary.  Even though the tradition of the siesta has declined in Madrid, I napped every day. The afternoon sun is very hot and a nap is the perfect way to wait for the heat to break. After my afternoon naps, I visited art museums during their free hours.

Museo Nacional del Prado, post-nap

This concludes my trip and my 30 day challenge. I hope the posters made you laugh or inspired you. Thanks for reading! 

How many hours of sleep do you need to be fully functional, and how many hours do you actually get?

Day 31: Chocolate for breakfast

Day 31: Chocolate

Breakfast is the smallest meal of the day in Spain. The typical breakfast is a cup of coffee and a roll. Tourists are encouraged to eat hot chocolate and churros. Churros are long pieces of fried dough; they are dipped into the hot chocolate. It is similar to eating a chocolate covered doughnut for breakfast, but the chocolate is really good and comes on the side. While I rarely eat doughnuts at home, I happily consumed churros with hot chocolate for breakfast in Spain. One adjustment to being home is not drinking chocolate every day.  I loved the thickness of Spanish hot chocolate. It reminded me of the fancy hot chocolate served in places such as San Francisco's  Dandelion or New York City's Jacques Torres. It is amazing.

After breakfast in Granada, I watched bullfighting in Madrid

What is your typical breakfast at home? How does it change when you vacation?

Day 30: Plan Nothing, Enjoy Everything

Day 30

Granada was the least planned portion of my vacation and it was my favorite part. I decided to visit Granada when I was in Madrid. Booking only a hostel, I arrived in Granada with a hope of seeing the Alhambra, a beautiful Islamic palace with a fortress and gardens. General admission tickets and the more expensive guided tours were sold out online. A select number of tickets are held for sale every day. When a hostel mate said they planned to wake up at 5:30am to stand in line for tickets, I asked to join.

Four of us left the hostel at 6:15am and lined up at 6:45am to wait for the box office to open at 8am.  Seeing the entire Alhambra takes about four hours. I love symmetry so I loved the palace. It was the Islamic artitecture I had hoped to see but did not see during my Morocco tour. The details are amazing and everything is beautiful. I was so happy to have people to share the experience.

Although traveling solo has its advantages, I like sharing experiences with people. Being spontaneous allowed me to do so. If I had been able to purchase tickets before Granada, I would have gone alone. Instead, I met people at the hostel and we spent the entire day together.

After lunch we walked along the water and up to the caves where gypsies live.  The path is hilly, gravely, and not apparent. I would not have done or found that walk on my own. The view at the top was amazing. MJ pointed out graffiti that stated "el mundo todos a los pies", the world is at our feet. The view caused B to blurt out "It's a good thing that none of us had our shit together." I agree.

Granada, as viewed from the Alhambra

What has been your experiences with hostels, good or bad?

Day 29: Wine

Day 29

My travel destinations are based on my stomach because I like to experience local food and drink. Even though I rarely drink alcohol at home, I drank wine twice a day in Spain. During lunch restaurants offer a menu of the day which consisted of a starter, entree, dessert and a glass of wine for a set price. Spain also offers tapas, small snacks, with drinks. When I checked into my hostel in Granada, which is well-known for its tapas, the owner told me that some places provide a dinner plate of food. My first night in Granada was spent walking in the streets and drinking tinto de verano at bars. Tinto de verano is a refreshing cocktail made of lemon soda and red wine. It is the perfect drink for a lightweight drinker.  

Spain: View on the bus from Madrid to Granada

What food or drink do you consume on vacation that is not usual in your daily life?

Day 28: Night walks

Day 28

Based on American schedules, Moroccans and Spaniards eat their dinner late around 10:30pm or 11pm. This makes the nightlife a different experience. Nightlife is not prioritized on my vacations. I tend to wake up early, visit sites before other tourists wake, and then go to bed early. Spain allowed me to stroll around late at night among people who were out to dinner rather than to get drunk.  I enjoyed how the streets felt lively and safe. By the time Madrid's nightlife started for the partiers, I was asleep in my hostel.

Madrid evening

How do you spend your evenings on vacations?

Day 27: Spice Drink

Day 27

People talk about being a morning bird or a night owl. I am both and neither; I am an awake person. I love the way the sky lightens with the rising sun in the morning. I love the quiet and calmness of the dark in the evenings. The Marrakesh souks have different stages of the day as well.

The mornings are quiet as the merchants prepare to open their stands. The orange juice vendors are already open and ready to sell you a glass for fresh juice for 4 dirhams. In the hot afternoons the markets are busy. You can rest in the shade created by the stalls and buildings, but be prepared to engage in bargaining if you look at anything with interest. In the evenings entertainers are present in the square in front of the souks;  snake charmers, musicians,  gamblers, roosters. Be prepared to pay if you take pictures of individuals. I loved the liveliness of the evening market. Since evenings are cooler, the vendors sell a hot drink made of 8 spices: nutmeg, cinnamon, star anise, clove, ginger, cardamom, galangal, and mace. As a spice lover, it was my favorite drink of the trip. I hope to recreate it at home.

Day 7: Marrakesh, the streets are lined with orange trees

What is your favorite drink on vacations?

Eats: Blackened Okra and Tomatoes

Blackened Okra and Tomatoes

Ingredients

onion
garlic
okra
tomatoes
mushrooms

Okra is a strange and slimy vegetable. I've been told that I'm an adventurous eater, but even I have trouble with the slime. I never cooked okra until a friend made this dish for me a few weeks ago. He said the trick is to blacken the okra and then stew in tomatoes. There is no exact recipe but it's simple: brown onion and garlic over medium heat. Add okra until blackened or softened. Add the mushrooms, tomatoes, and liquid. Cover and simmer until the sauce thickens.

More detailed explanation with suggested variations:

1.  Dice half an onion and garlic. I used about 6 cloves of garlic; adjust to your taste. Brown the diced onion and garlic in a pan with hot oil, medium heat.
2. Slice the okra into even pieces. I used 1 or 1.5 pounds. I lopped the tops off the short ones, and cut the long ones into halves or thirds. Add the okra and cook over medium heat until the okra blackens. My friend's version was more black; he stirred less often than my version. I stirred occasionally and cooked it until the okra was soft. Next time I may remove the garlic and onions before adding the okra to prevent burning, and add them back with the next step.
3. Slice the mushrooms.  My friend used a handful of shitake mushrooms. I used button mushrooms. Add the mushrooms and cook until they have softened.
4. Add tomatoes and enough liquid to cover all the vegetables. My friend used canned diced tomatoes, and added salt, pepper, and another spice (maybe cumin). I diced two roma tomatoes and added tomato sauce which had previously been adulterated with onions, garlic and mushrooms.
5. Cover and bring to a boil. Lower the heat, leave the lid ajar, and simmer until the sauce has thickened. I simmered until it tasted delicious. I like this on rice but it would be good with bread too. Enjoy.

How have you cooked a new vegetable recently?

Day 26: Thumbs Down

Day 26

Quad biking is not an activity I thought about doing before this trip. It was offered by my group tour. I did it because I was scared at the thought of it. It turned out to be easy, especially since our bike guide took care of turning on and off the bike. My only task was to keep my thumbs down on the gear so the bike moves. At one point, the bike ahead of me got stuck on a small hill. They had stopped to allow room for the guide to advance in front of them. I had no issues with the hill as I allowed them enough of a head start that I did not need to stop at the bottom of the hill.

Quad biking showed me another side of Morocco. The first part of the ride involved seeing movie sets. I have not watched the movie Kingdom of Heaven, but I rode by the castle featured in it.  The ride felt as though I was in the middle of nowhere. The second half of the ride allowed us to see the every day life of Moroccans as we rode through a village. It was my favorite part. We saw people working in the fields, school children exercising outside, and donkeys carrying loads. Living in San Francisco, I rarely wave back to random tourists who wave to me. On this ride I waved to everyone and they all waved back. Now I understand know why tourists wave. It is a connection.

Morocco day 6: Ouarzazate

Have you tried quad biking or other motorized bicycling?

Day 25: An Extra Layer

Day 25

Packing light is my goal whenever I travel. When I showed a friend my suitcase, she said she did not know anyone who would travel internationally with a single carry-on. I managed to do so even though I packed more than needed. International flights include one free piece of checked baggage, but I was taking a budget flight between Spain and Morocco. Budget airlines have smaller and stricter size restrictions than US airlines. Also my preferred type of accommodations rarely have elevators or bell hops. I need to be able to lift and move everything myself. Lastly, the group tour goes to a different location every day. Less possessions means less items to remember and repack.

Although Spain and Morocco would be hot, I had packed a windproof jacket, fleece jacket, and wool undergarments based on my tour company's recommendations. They said warm layers were necessary for the desert. Thus I was irked to learn from the tour guide on day one that extra layers were unnecessary. The Sahara stays warm enough in May that we would only need the blankets provided by the tour. I groused about carrying the extra items until day 5. On day 5 I was sick with a fever and chills. I became grateful for the fleece jacket as I sat shivering on the tour bus. Once we arrived at the hotel for the day, I slept for the next 12 hours and recovered. The jacket was necessary only for a day, but I was glad to have packed it. Pack as light as possible, but an extra layer is worth the extra work.

Morocco Day 5: Sahara sunrise, before I was sick

 How have you dealt with becoming sick on a vacation?

Day 24: Breathe

Day 24

On day 4, we rode camels into the Sahara. Camels are easily trained so they are docile and peaceful to ride.  The desert is quiet, surreal, and gorgeous. My spontaneous spring trip was well-timed as summer is unbearably hot, and winter is cold enough at night to require a sleeping bag. After we settled into camp, our tour guide revealed that on rare occasions the wind has been strong enough to cancel the camel ride. I was grateful that our ride was uneventful as I love being in the desert.

In my daily life, I like to stay busy. When my body is not physically active and engaged, my mind is busy with worrying about the future. I constantly strive to be present in the moment, and the desert allowed me to do so without effort. Sahara sand is fine, red, and gorgeous. I spent an hour playing with it. Take a fistful of sand, open hand, allow it to drift away on the wind. Repeat. It was meditative and inspired this poster.   

Morocco day 4: Sahara

What do you do to be present in your daily life?

Day 23: Lean Back

Day 23

Physical education was my least favorite school subject. Basketball, softball, volleyball, football; the balls hit my head more often than I hit them. I was always jealous that when my sister took PE, they offered archery and rock-climbing. My PE class spent a quarter on bowling and pickleball. Bowling is fun but it is not as bad-ass as rock-climbing.

After years of envying my sister's rock-climbing skills, I finally rock-climbed on this trip. It was less difficult than I expected. Like running, rock-climbing can be thought as a series of small steps. The common mistake among beginners is to cling too closely to the rock. Space is needed to allow room for your limbs to bend and climb. Scrapping your knees and elbows is more likely if you're too close to the rock. Getting down required leaning back to abseil. Even though I clung to the rock, I made it to the top of the rope and back down. Next time I will lean back for ease of movement and a better perspective.

Morocco day 3: Todra Gorge

What was your least favorite subject in school? Has your feelings towards that topic changed?

Day 22: Swimming

Day 22

For years I stayed in the shallow end during pool parties because I did not know how to swim. This limited my socializing and made pool parties rather boring. I recalled those years when I learned the tour included swimming pool breaks every day. The swims were an unexpected bonus because they were not on the itinerary.  Every swim exhilarated me: I can do something now that I had been unable to do for years.  Many of the pools had spectacular views too. It is amazing to come up for a breath and see a gorge.

Morocco: The view while swimming in a pool

If I had not learned how to swim last winter, I would have missed out on an amazing experience every day of this trip.  If something interests you, learn how to do it.

What skill are you interested in that you have not learned? What do you hope to do with that skill after you learn it?

Day 21: Follow

Day 21

My plane landed in Morocco a few hours before the group tour began. I wanted to explore Marrakesh but I was reluctant to leave the hotel as I did not know where to go.  Rather than giving into my fearful side, I left the hotel and started walking. One of the biggest tourist attractions in Marrakesh are the souks or the markets where you can buy anything. A seasoned traveler travels in the opposite direction of the tourist horde. Being on my first solo trip, I followed the tourists. Luckily, I picked the correct direction and ended up at the markets.

Morocco, Day 1

After walking around for a bit, I looked for lunch. The food places near the markets are pricey and cater towards tourists. For example, many places served shawarma which is a Levantine food and is not Moroccan.  I wandered away from the markets and walked around until a random person gestured me into his place. He could probably tell I was about to expire from heat stroke. Living in San Francisco, I am unaccustomed to heat. Also, I was covered from wrists to ankles in observance of local customs. I learned later that I didn't need to cover up as much as I did because Marrakesh is very touristy. It is more important to cover up in rural Morocco. At a minimum women need to cover up from shoulders to knees.

In American slang, the place was a hole-in-the-wall. Small, dingy, and patronized by locals, it was the exact type of place I was looking for. My first meal in Morocco was a bowl of lentils with bread. It was filling and cost a tenth of what was being charged in the markets. When you have no plans, follow the crowd until you figure out what you want to do on your own.

Morocco, day 1 lunch

What was your favorite hole-in-the-wall discovery?

Day 20: Be Flexible

Day 20

Like the majority of Americans, I rarely take vacations. Vacation planning overwhelms me with choices. Vacations happen only when I am unable to accrue more vacation time. This year, I chose to book an 8-day group tour for Morocco. The tour company was based on a friend's recommendation. I did no planning beyond purchasing plane tickets and booking the tour.

Since tickets to Morocco are expensive and require a layover in Madrid, I added an extra week in Spain. Flying in a day early to get my bearings in Spain first, I spent the first half of the day with my hostel's free walking tour. The tour made me realize that 6 days in Madrid would be too long for me. Prior to leaving the States, I asked advice from a friend who used to live in Spain and she recommended southern Spain. I vaguely remembered her mentioning Sevilla or Granada. Travelers who stay at hostels love discussing travel plans. They enthusiastically chose Granada when I discussed my plans at lunch. Although no one had visited Granada, everyone had heard good things about it. After lunch, I used the hostel's free computers to research logistics on how to get there. Travel by bus took 5 hours and cost €18 while the train took 4 hours and cost €70.  Saving an hour is not worth an extra €52/$72 so the bus was chosen. Following other travelers' advice, I selected and booked a random hostel on hostelworld. With prior vacations I have been trapped in certain cities because of pre-paid bus tickets and housing. This vacation's lack of prior planning allowed me more flexibility. Although making plans while on vacation was stressful, the impulsive visit to Granada would become the highlight of my vacation.

When have you changed vacation plans while on vacation, and how did it turn out?

Day 19: Sunrise

Day 19

The only sketch during my two week holiday. The first leg of my international flight was early enough that I had the opportunity to watch the sunrise. I loved how the airplane wing contrasted against the colorful sky. When I took out my camera to photograph the sunrise, the following message appeared on the camera: "Memory card needs to be formatted."  With a five-hour flight ahead, panic would have been useless. Instead I sketched the sunrise and boarded my plane. When something unexpected happens, don't let it ruin your present moment. Enjoy the moment, and then find a solution. Of course, I immediately purchased a memory card when I landed at the next airport. I like to joke with people that only two items are essential for travel: a passport and a credit card. In this case, it was true. No memory card, use the credit card.

Have you experienced a memory card failure during an important event, and what did you do?

Day 18: Travel

Day 18

This is what I will doing for the next two weeks so this project will be on hiatus until I return. It is my first international solo trip.  While nervously searching for reviews of my already booked tour, I found this travel blogger's photo essay of my tour company. Her posts calmed my nerves, made me more excited, and inspired this poster. Expect to see a new poster Sunday May 18th at the latest, or Thursday May 15th if I have the energy.

How do you feel about traveling solo?

Day 17: Cut your Own Apple

Day 17

This is my first time working with watercolor pencils. I went over it with actual watercolors. Below is a quick colored pencil sketch on how to make attractive apple slices. Like the pineapple, I learned this from a college friend. I only do this when I'm sharing an apple with a friend and want a nice presentation. Otherwise, I eat apples whole.

Day 17: how to cut apple slices

How do you cut your apples? With an apple corer, with a knife, or do you eat it whole like I do?

Day 16: Resistance

Day 16

I used to think that if something wasn't difficult, then it wasn't work and it was a waste of time. If I was struggling, it meant I was growing. This mentality ruled all areas of my life.

Then I went to a spinning class designed for triathletes. I was the only one who had not completed a triathlon before. So I expected to work really hard and struggle. As always, when I got on the bicycle I cranked up the resistance. More resistance means more work which is good. Lower resistance and easier movement means I'm not working.


To my surprise, the instructor motioned for me to turn down the resistance so I could match the correct pace. It was a revelation to be encouraged to go at a lower resistance. Even though a lower resistance feels like less work, my legs got stronger over time because I was pedaling more. Also sustaining a pace at a lower resistance turned out to be more work than at a higher resistance. Starting fast at a low resistance means it's noticeable when you slow down. Starting slowly at a high resistance, means the resistance can be used as an excuse to remain slow. Once my legs got stronger, then it made sense to increase the resistance. When I pause to think about it, it's odd that I did not realize this before. The same thing happens in running: start with a walk, then a jog, then a run, then slowly add distance.

Not all activities need to be difficult to provide growth. Sometimes, starting easy will take you further than starting hard.

Have you taken a spinning class? Why do you like or dislike it?

Day 15: the Way Through

Day 15

Inspired by a run which explains its eloquence. Running makes me a philosopher of dubious merit. The phrase is rather silly but it has become a mantra for me. I say it every time I face a new challenge that scares me. I've said it during strenuous hikes, high-altitude races, and most recently, snowboarding. Any friend who's been on a mountain with me has heard this silly phrase.

The phrase can be serious too. One summer I planned a trip to Utah's national parks. My research on the parks emphasized safety such as carry enough water, have a good map, know where you're going, and tell people your plans. These are standard safety tips. I also read a news article regarding the roles of park rangers. Most visitors to parks mistakenly think that if they get lost, park rangers will swoop in and rescue them. This can be a deadly assumption. The role of the park ranger is to protect the park. While they provide guidance such as which trails are safe and which are closed, their role is not search-and-rescue.  Once a visitor ventures into the forest, the onus is on the individual to find the way back.

When my roommate learned of my plans to visit Utah, she shared her experience. Utah is a gorgeous state with amazing national parks and she had a great time. On the last night, however, four people in her group had not returned by sunset. The remaining party expressed concern to the park ranger. He said this was a usual occurrence, and everyone would show up fine the next day. My roommate was rather upset by what she perceived as a brush-off of her concern.  His statement was accurate. The missing people showed up the next morning. They were fine and had learned a lesson about taking too many pictures while hiking. Her story highlighted the fact that missing people do not always equate urgency for the park rangers. If you get lost in a national park, you must find your way out. The only way through is to continue through.

Disclaimer: do not take this poster literally. One rule of hiking is the half-point rule. Set a time that you expect to be half-way done with your hike. If you are not half-way by that time, turn around to return. (Um, learn from my mistakes.) Do your research and hike wisely. Sometimes being safe means to continue and sometimes it means to turn back. Do not make foolish decisions with the expectation that someone else will rescue you. They may, but they may not.

What is your silly mantra to help tackle challenging tasks?

Day 14: Drink Water

Day 14

Drink up!

How many glasses of water do you drink daily? How do you make water interesting to drink?

Day 13: look up

Day 13

Happy Friday! Go forth and star-gaze this weekend.

What are your plans for this weekend?

Day 12: Restriction is never the solution

Day 12

(Trigger warning)

Restriction is an insidious process. It starts with something small. Or it starts with something big. The restriction is incorporated into your daily life. It's encouraged and praised by others. Then it is not enough and you restrict something else. Gradually, the restrictions increase and you're spiralling out of control. But you can't tell how tight the bindings are getting. You don't notice how you can't breathe. You just wonder why there is too much air to breathe and why you need so much of it. You get mad at yourself for being greedy, for wanting more air. You restrict something else. It cycles. It spirals.

Then one day, you realize that something is wrong and you reach out. You learn that you have been holding your breath. Slowly you learn it is ok to breathe. It is ok to want air. Until you relearned how to breathe, you couldn't understand that it was ok to breathe. Breathe. Breathe.

Inspired by Mary Lambert's "Body Love"

Day 11: the Space Between

Day 11

(one) At a bar watching the summer Olympics with two friends. There is a list of things we plan to do that weekend: hikes, farmers' markets, waterfalls, food trucks, comedy show. It's our annual vacation but we are not ready quite yet. Our fourth friend is arriving at the airport. For now, we sit in a pub, listen to live music, and watch the Olympics.

(two) Trudging downhill in the hot, hot sun with two people I met that weekend. I'm tired, I'm out of shape, I'm dirty. Also, my water bottle is nearly empty. A teammate pauses to listen to the birds. He motions up to the sky, invites me to listen, and smiles broadly. I listen.

(three) Wet, cold, sore. I'm flat on my back on a snowy mountain. Again. I need to sit up and stand up. This is not as simple as it sounds. My feet are strapped to a snowboard and I've been doing this all day. I'm tired. My friend tells me to look across the mountain at the view. The sky is clear. The lake is flat. The air is crisp.

These memories are of between moments. The pause before a vacation, the pause between steps in a relay race, the pause between attempts at snowboarding.  I focus so well on completing tasks that I often miss the present. These memories are vivid because my tasks were interrupted, by circumstances or by people stepping in and telling me to pause. Society bombards us with the message to move quickly onto bigger and better things. Life is not worthwhile unless we are deriving the maximum enjoyment from each second and each action. This is untrue. The next time you're unhappy, overwhelmed, or frantically thinking about the next item on your to-do list, pause. For a second. For a moment.

Enjoy the space between breaths, the pauses between steps, the moments between the beginning and the end.

What is your favorite between moment?

Day 10: WWBD?

Day 10

Most people spend their early twenties in a hedonistic haze of drinking, partying, and indiscriminate dating. I spent mine in book clubs and knitting groups. While my natural tendencies skewer towards grandma activities, I find myself drawn to people whose hobbies skewer towards exciting: fire-breathing, mountain climbing, aerial silks. Those people are cool and I am not so I can't do those things. That was my thought process until last year when I had an epiphany: I can do those things.

"Would a bad-ass do it?" has become a helpful question. I'm not talking about a bad-ass who beats up grandmas, steals candy from kids, and kicks kittens. "Bad-ass" is a person who does cool activities that I would like to try but I do not think I can do.  Once I stopped believing in my misconceptions of what activities are suitable for me and simply started trying, life became a lot more fun. I learned snowboarding from a friend. I learned blacksmithing at the Crucible in Oakland (an amazing place which I highly recommend). I'm learning graphic design through a university extension center. An advantage of living in San Francisco is there is always a place to learn and people to learn from. I'm finally taking advantage of it.

What fills in your blank: "What would ____________ do?" What have you accomplished with that guiding question?

Day 9: Comparsion

Day 9

This was inspired by a recent conversation with a former roommate. We saw each other on the train and decided to catch up over drinks. I told her about my decision to pursue design over accounting. In my introductory graphic design course, my classmates impress and intimidate me, especially the ones with art schooling. Whenever I compare my work to theirs, my aspiration to be a designer seems to be a farfetched dream. My day job has no design aspects and I have no fine arts education or computer software training.  My friend immediately said, "Don't ever compare your work to others."

I loved hearing that advice so you can expect to see that advice again in different forms. This poster explores the thin line between the times when comparison is good and when it is bad. Comparison is bad when it makes you feel poorly and prevents you from trying. The world and the internet is filled with artists and their works. If I took the time to compare my posters with the work out there, I would probably stop this project. Instead, I use the time to sit down and create something fun that makes me laugh.

At other times, comparsion can be inspirational. For example, I love travel. Other people's travel plans inspire my plans. If I haven't been to a particular location, their plans give me ideas on where to go, what to do, and most importantly, what to eat. If I have visited that country, it makes me feel a little closer to them knowing that we have visited the same place.


When you start to compare yourself to other people, use this handy-dandy flowchart. If you feel inspired, continue comparing yourself to others. If you feel despair, stop comparing. Instead, may I suggest you start a silly 30 day project of your own?

In what areas of life does comparison inspire you? In what areas have you needed to stop comparing yourself to others?

Day 8: Knees together

Day 8

Today I celebrated Easter in a San Francisco way: I picnicked in the park with friends and attended an event hosted by the Sisters of Perpetual Indulgence, "a charity, protest, and street performance organization that uses drag and religious imagery to call attention to sexual intolerance and satirize issues of gender and morality." Their Easter event includes a Foxy Mary and  Hunky Jesus contest. I loved walking around the park and seeing everyone's outfits and picnic setups. Some people were very elaborate and brought full tables and silverware. I also saw one person hoisting a loveseat through the crowd. Another couple wore Mad Hatter hats (and not much else) and drank from teacups the whole day. There were elaborate Easter bonnets including one that involved a live parrot. Being a sunny day, there were plenty of sundresses which inspired this poster. For a long time, I rarely wore dresses as I never mastered the art of sitting like a lady. One day my friend mentioned seeing a woman on the train and wanting to post a facebook status stating "Remember, knees together, ladies." She resisted the urge but I remembered her advice. Simple but I always repeat it when I wear a dress: keep my knees together to prevent flashing people. Of course, in San Francisco, you are welcome to keep your knees apart or in any position you wish. Another option is to do what I usually do: wear shorts underneath and sit however you like.

Is there an article of clothing you struggle with wearing appropriately?

Day 7: My Art Process

Day 7

In case you cannot tell what this poster is about, here's a message for Wahl Clipper Corporation: call me. I love your product and will gladly make a poster for you. I get giddy when I use your product every two weeks--it means I just saved $40 on a haircut.

I am planning a lengthy post about haircuts and its effect on my personality so we can skip that today. Instead, let's talk about my art process. My current process is thinking of a phrase that's been useful to me or I find funny. Then I sketch ideas while riding the morning train to work and paint after work at night.  While sketching for Day 5's idea, I ended up with a derivative sketch for hair. My doodles are below.

Day 5 sketches

It seems a bit early in the challenge to recycle ideas but I did not feel inspired this morning. I decided it was better to make a poster based on a defined idea than make a poor poster based on a uninspired idea. Once I started the poster, I had fun. Since the idea was simple and there was more time today, I refined the typography. Edges were straightened and made to be crisp rather than blurring as seen in the previous posters. I also tried to paint "OWN" as a serif typeface. Since I decided on serif after painting "own", there is not much difference between the thick and thin parts but the "O" turned out rather nicely. As a sidenote, I'm still learning the correct usage of typeface versus font. So feel free to correct my usage.

The text and hair was black because my hair is black. Also I get a thrill from the inkiness of black paint and applying it to blank paper. The bow tie added color for visual interest. The tie is blue because I like blue. The dots are orange because blue and orange are complementary. To use up extra paint that would be wasted, the text was highlighted in a light wash. The wash also added balance to the poster so the color was not at the bottom only. The main lesson for today is: if you're reluctant to do something, just start. Once you start, it'll be fun and you may be pleasantly surprised by the result.

What item on your to-to list are you procrastinating on today?

Day 6: Infect your Friends!

Day 6

Happy Friday! Go forth and infect your friends this weekend.

What are your plans for this Easter weekend?

Day 5: Cut your own Pineapple

Day 5

Pineapples look intimating. They are spiky and hard. How can you tell when they're ripe? The only form pineapple was eaten in my household was from a can. Moving to California exposed me to fresh pineapple.  It was love at first bite. Fresh pineapple is sweet, juicy and tastes nothing like its canned counterpart.

I also love pineapples because they remind me of friends. A college roommate taught me how to cut a pineapple and I think of her every time I do so. My amended instructions are below.

Day 5: How to Cut a Pineapple

The same friend taught me to soak it in water for a bit to reduce the acid in the pineapple. Another friend taught me how to pick pineapples. Turn it upside down and check the bottom for mold. No mold is best, a little is fine but a lot is not fine. A lot of mold means the pineapple is too old. Then pluck a leaf from the top. If it comes out easily, then the pineapple is sweet. If it does not come out easily, then try another pineapple. My information may be scientifically inaccurate but they're tradition. Also, I've chosen and eaten some darn good pineapples over the years.

This poster was inspired by a pineapple purchase this week and the fact I really enjoy pineapples. It seems straight-forward but I felt as though the poster was about self-reliance and the phrasing seemed familiar. Then I remembered this wonderful article about the owner of Trouble Cafe. On the menu, there's an item called Build Your Own Damn House. It's a cup of coffee, a whole coconut, and toast. The menu may seem like a gimmick at first but the story behind it is compelling. It's about building connections and stability while living with a mental illness.  Each item represents something that has sustained her over the years. Pineapples remind me of friendships and knowledge sharing.


Do you have a memory associated with a particular food or food preparation? What is a favorite skill you learned from a friend?

Day 4: Embracing Fear

Day4

Standing at the top of a mountain and strapped to a 1/2-cm thick piece of plastic, I remembered that I'm risk-adverse. I decided where to live after college based on where I had family. I make friends through book clubs because it's easy to talk about books. I converse about food at parties because everyone eats. So, how did I end up at the top of a mountain even though I fear heights?

Having grown up in the Midwest, I miss the snow and the cold winters. Years pass strangely in California with its lack of seasons. For years, friends suggested I take advantage of California's mountains and go ski in winter. It's the joy of winter without the required daily work. I never went. Being afraid to sled hills, I could not imagine myself careening down a mountain on slim pieces of plastic.  Then last year, I started doing small things that scare me such as talking to strangers at parties or looking stupid while learning how to swim. I realized that once I could acknowledge what I was afraid of, I can move on from it. Last year also introduced me to a new friend who's fanatical about snowboarding. I have always loved doing things with people who are passionate about that thing. Enthusiasm is infectious. So when he invited me to go snowboarding, I said yes.

That day, I was regretting my yes. It was not my first day, but it was the highest. After we unloaded from the lift, he took me to a sheer drop-off and told me to go down it. I was utterly terrified. In fact, I was hyperventilating. I wanted to jump back on the lift and retreat to the nice, warm, safe lodge. Instead I sat in the snow for 5 minutes, gathered my fear and panic, and squished them into a manageable ball. Then I flung myself off the side.

I went nowhere. It was a powder day and there was so much snow that I sunk immediately. My fears of careening wildly out of control down a mountain, injuring myself, and killing others turned out to be irrational. It was an accomplishment to snowboard two feet without sinking.

Fear can be debilitating. In small doses fear can be useful. It can focus attention: "Oh crap, there's a tree. I need to steer away from it." However, in large doses fear can prevent us from experiencing life. If fear had prevailed, I would have missed out three things I love: being outdoors, being active, and being in snow. Acknowledge your fears, then ignore them. Fear will be always present, but its purpose and influence on your life can be changed.


What fear have you conquered lately?

Day 3: Get Up

Day 3

I learned how to snowboard this year. I heard this a lot.

When I snowboard alone, I tend to sit after falls. When I'm with my friend, I am told, "Get up. What are you sitting for? Get up." On my own, I practiced falling leaf; it is easy to control but very tiring. It is a tool to teach beginners how to find an edge. Under my friend's guidance and constant reminders to get up, I learned to turn. Turns are the key move to snowboarding. They take more skill but less energy than falling leaf. The breakthrough came when I finally understood what it means to pick a lead foot and only turn on that side. Completing the first successful turn was exhilarating and made me so glad I kept snowboarding despite weeks of failure.

New endeavors often require a large amount of energy and result in what seems to be constant failure at first. As much as I always want to sit after falling, getting up leads to success quicker.  As skills develop with practice, results will improve while taking less energy.  While resting after a fall can be prudent, getting up is more useful. That said, the actual act of getting up while strapped to a snowboard is difficult. I can empathize with upside turtles now. Successfully snowboarding down a mountain makes the effort worthwhile.

Have you pursued any activity despite constant failure? What led to your first breakthrough?

Day 2: Chasing Buses

Day 2

Inspired by this Bold Italic article : "Why the Chinese Chase the Bus" by Christy Chan. It appeared in my facebook feed today; if you think about it, Facebook is scary in its targeted advertising. The writer muses over how Chinese people tend to strive for goals that seem impossible. She explores how that tendency helped her become an artist: "And since you’ve never been told you have natural talent, looks, or gifts, you just have to honestly, unflinchingly believe in yourself. Faith is reason enough to chase the bus you choose."  I love the article and I highly suggest reading it for inspiration. The epilogue is funny too; it has happened to my friends.

This poster is also my personal metaphor for goal-setting. When I first started going to the gym 7 years ago, it was with a small, silly, and sincere goal: to be able to run after the bus.  Acheiving that small goal propelled me into 10ks, half-marathons, running down mountains, and snow-boarding over the years. I was the inactive bookish kid who couldn't run a mile in grade school and hated being outdoors. I never thought of myself as an active person who loves the outdoors until I took up running. It exposed me to nature, helped me meet people, and boosts my mood. None of these things would have happened if I had not made the silly goal one day to chase after a bus. Now, I'm making another silly goal of pursing design. I hope that this turns out as well as running.

What bus are you currently chasing? Has a stranger ever demanded a ride from you.